You know the deal, no more stalling. Here we go…
#20 – Indiana Jones
MOVIE: The Indiana Jones Trilogy (1980-1989)
ACTOR: Harrison Ford
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Why is an archaeology professor on this list? BECAUSE HE’S INDIANA JONES, YA JERK! Jones travels the world, he’s irresistible to women, he “borrows” ancient artifacts… and he punches Nazis. What’s NOT bad ass about the greatest action hero of all time?
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: In Raiders, while Indy is running through the streets of Cairo, being chased by bad guys, he is confronted by an impressive swordsman. The guy flips and shows off his swords. Indy, unimpressed and annoyed, pulls out his gun and shoots him in the chest. So much for swords.
BAD ASS LINE: “You want to talk to God? Let’s go see him together, I’ve got nothing better to do.”
#19 – Darth Vader
MOVIE: The Star Wars Trilogy (1977-1983)
ACTOR: James Earl Jones (Voice)
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Darth Vader is biggest, baddest motherfucker in the galaxy. This Half Man/Half Machine Dark Lord of the Sith is the Emperor’s right hand man. A master of all the Jedi arts and has no equal. Darth Vader betrayed the Jedi Order to join the Dark Side, killed his master Obi-Wan Kenobi and works as an enforcer for an Empire so evil that it literally blows up planets. He is an unparalleled pilot and a master of the lightsabre. In a span of three films he: kidnaps Princess Leia, kills rebels, manages his employees by choking them if they fail him, chops his own son’s hand off and then tries to recruit him, freezes Han Solo in carbonite and hands him over to Boba Fett, hands his son over to the Emperor and then watches as the Emperor, and threatens to turn his daughter to the Dark Side. That’s quite the rap sheet. In the end he does redeem himself and defeats the Emperor, but he’s still a complete bad ass to the end. 15 years ago… he would have been #1 on this countdown. HOWEVER, those terrible Star Wars prequels work against him bump him down. He’s still in the Top 20, though.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: He chops his own son’s hand off. And as Luke screams in pain, he further adds to misery by informing that his father wasn’t dead… well, come on… you know the rest.
BAD ASS LINE: “You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don’t let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did.”
#18 – Vito Corleone
MOVIE: The Godfather Part II (1974)
ACTOR: Robert DeNiro
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: First son, now the father. In the first Godfather, Marlon Brando played an elderly Vito Corleone. While he was a ruthless mob boss and an iconic character, he doesn’t begin to touch the total bad-assery of Robert DeNiro portraying his younger self. In Part II, we see his rise to power. From humble beginnings as an orphaned immigrant, to just trying to make ends meet in America, to becoming part of a gang to, finally, running his own family… everything is detailed. Vito Corleone is the most bad ass gangster of all time.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: When he was a young boy, his entire family was killed by local Sicilian mobsters. As a man, and a mob boss, he returns to his home country and gets his bloody revenge.
BAD ASS LINE: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”
#17 – Rick Blaine
MOVIE: Casablanca (1942)
ACTOR: Humphrey Bogart
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: It’s the greatest movie of all time… and yes the main character just also happens to be total bad ass. Blaine’s background is mysterious. An American living in exile in French Morocco. He’s an ex-mercenary and running a cafe/casino. The love of his life, who left him standing at a train station like a sucker, walks back into his life and needs his help to get her and her husband (who happens to be wanted by the Nazis) out of the country safely. Will he help her out or let her rot for what she did to him? Also: He’s portrayed by the coolest actor that ever lived and he looks styling the entire movie.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Blaine’s a guy that plays his cards close to his chest. He never lets you know what he’s up to. At the end of the film, you think he’s going to just take his woman and leave the country. Instead he puts himself in danger by make sure her and her man get out safely. Noble? Yes. But total bad ass.
BAD ASS LINE: ” But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that.”
#16 – Beatrix Kiddo (a.k.a. The Bride)
MOVIE: Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (2003-2004)
ACTOR: Uma Thurman
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: She’s one of the deadliest hitmen (hitwomen?) in the world, part of a gang of killers named after deadly snakes. The love her life? Bill… the “snake charmer.” But when she realizes she’s pregnant, she leaves the lifestyle behind to be able to raise her child in a normal environment. Bill doesn’t like that, hunts her down and kills her for breaking his heart… or so he thinks. Turns out she’s just in a coma, and when she wakes up… she’s going to kill Bill and every damn one of the bastards that tried to end her.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: It has to be the scene in Volume 1 where she goes to kill “Cottonmouth,” but before she gets the chance she has to go through the Crazy 88s. Who are they? 88 trained killers. And she kills EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
BAD ASS LINE: ” When I woke up, I went on what the movie advertisements refer to as a ‘roaring rampage of revenge.’ I roared. And I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. I’ve killed a hell of a lot of people to get to this point, but I have only one more. The last one. The one I’m driving to right now. The only one left. And when I arrive at my destination, I am gonna kill Bill.”
#15 – Bud White
MOVIE: L.A. Confidential(1997)
ACTOR: Russel Crowe
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: What happens when you take a homicide cop, mix it with a rough upbringing, a short temper, a propensity to punch everything that moves and a hooker girlfriend? Bud fucking White. Only a handful of cinema cops are badder than this man.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: While playing “good cop, bad cop” with the dirty District Attorney, Bud is enraged with a “blah” attitude the D.A. is taking during the investigation. So he grabs him by the throat and dangles him out the window where he says this line:
BAD ASS LINE: “Now, I know you think you’re the A-number one hotshot. Well, here’s the juice: if I take you out, there’ll be ten more lawyers to take your place tomorrow.”
#14 – Harmonica
MOVIE: Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)
ACTOR: Charles Bronson
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Harmonica has no name. The reason they call him Harmonica is because he generally doesn’t say much, except for blowing into his harmonica. Harmonica is on the trail of Frank, a local gunman bully in the town of Sweetwater. Frank sends men to kill Harmonica time and again, but Harmonica keeps taking them out. Frank is constantly frustrated by the fact that Harmonica keeps refusing to answer his question of who he is. Instead Harmonica just answers with names of men Frank has killed. During the final duel we see why Harmonica wants his revenge. When he was a boy Frank forced him to stand underneath his dying brother’s hanging body while be played the harmonica.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: The man is just super cool anytime he’s on screen, but you can’t deny that the best moment is when finally shoots and kills Frank in the climactic scene.
BAD ASS LINE: “Your friends have a high mortality rate Frank. First three, then two.”
#13 – Ripley
MOVIE: Aliens (1986)
ACTOR: Sigourney Weaver
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: After barely surviving an encounter with the most horrifying creature ever imagined, Ripley goes into a cryo sleep that has her sleep too long. When she wakes up it’s even farther in the future and her entire family is gone. Turns out the Aliens are causing trouble still and she’s needed as a consultant. The first film, Ripley was tough but was in a more conventional horror movie role for women (the victim.) But in this film she’s a complete bad ass, and willingly goes to face these monsters and her fears.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: She dons a freaking exo-suit to do battle with the alien! How much cooler can you get?
BAD ASS LINE: “Get away from her you bitch!”
#12 – Snake Plissken
MOVIE: Escape From New York (1981)
ACTOR: Kurt Russel
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: It’s the future (er, 1997) and the world is in the middle of WW3. New York City has been turned into a giant prison and the President of the United States’ plane has just crashed there. The inmates kidnap him and hold him hostage. What’s the government to do? Enter: Snake Plissken. Snake is an ex-Special Forces agent turned criminal about to be imprisoned. Only he can bust the President out. Only one problem. He doesn’t give a fuck about your President or your war. Also: Sweet eye patch.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Well, let’s see… how about the moment Snake appears on screen until the time the credits roll. Yeah, that should cover it.
BAD ASS LINE: “I don’t give a fuck about your war… or your president.”
#11 – John Rambo
MOVIE: Every single damn Rambo movie ever made
ACTOR: Sylvester Stallone
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Rambo is the international symbol for bad ass. If you find someone in some part of the world who doesn’t know who Sylvester Stallone is… I guarantee you they’ll know who Rambo is. John Rambo is an icon of American muscle. A disillusioned Vietnam veteran who’s just trying to survive… but motherfuckers are always trying to start shit. Rambo resonated with American audiences after we got our asses kicked in Vietnam in real life… here was a fictional soldier that “got the job done.”
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Watch This
BAD ASS LINE: “When you’re pushed, killing’s as easy as breathing.”
All right, folks, that’s it for now. Stay tuned to Superfriends for the TOP 10 GREATEST BAD ASSES OF ALL TIME
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