Gen. Remington: We’ve spent several sessions gaming out his motive for going renegade. It has proven crucial to anticipating his next moves. While all of our spacio-temporal models predict that we neutralize him, none show how we actually do it. There is an extreme time disturbance at that very point we need to remote view. Most of the team believes it to be and “endemic time-twine.” I had to look it up. Essentially, this would be a point in space-time where all possible universes intersect. This one is probably not a hoax like the others. That’s right. Those stupid Logan Time Hunter holo-novels we used to implant talked about one of these. They actually exist. It proved very useful for the protagonist in one particular story, “The Endemic Epidemic” I think it was called. Same went for his eternal foe. What was his name?
Cadet 523: Beatoffking, sir.
Gen. Remington: [Laughs] That’s right. How could I forget?
It is, of course, impossible to know for sure. The Child Emperor has always believed that the Logan Time-Hunter stories were embedded by one of the first Logans, most likely Logan-2 or Wade Blarton, as he as popularly known, as a vehicle for this perpetual renegade campaign. Indeed, the Extended Logan Universe is one of the longest living thought viruses we currently suffer under. There it is, living in all of our brains, inside of which any Logan can still today store information for himself or even other Logans and their allies. The Time-Hunter series became such a beloved tale for children that, after 1000s of years, it was too embedded into the universal psyche to extract it without inflicting major psychic damage. Damage enough to spark a total collapse of this possible universe. It would have to be phased out gradually, it was concluded. Though most are less sanguine about the prospect of ever being free of it. Depressing I know. But hey, with an endemic time-twine in the vicinity, I’m certain the Child Emperor will want to re-calibrate our likelihood of fundamental change on that level.
But let’s not get over our lazerboardz, cadets. Let me define the spacio-emotio-specs of this particular renegade Logan. Because this is the one in one billion we’ve been training for. First, everyone in here, do me a favor and take a breath with me. Go ahead. In through the nose. Expand the belly as you inhale. Hold it for a beat, then let it out slowly. Try to keep breathing in steady pattern as I lay out this profile. This is a technique we actually picked up from our target, Logan-6.
This particular Logan mod has been used in some of our most sensitive missions. To be specific, its program has frequently been sent into the bodies of important historical figures and, without hesitation, steered them into the jaws of death. These were tough missions. The Child Emperor agonized over them, given the death and suffering they involved or will involve. Missions like these always brake his heart. “For the Good of the Child Empire” isn’t just a slogan to him, it’s all he thinks about. Imagine having to experience your death over 100 of times. How would that affect the psyche? That’s what we are dealing with in Logan-6. He’s likely just sick and tired of dying for us, in mission after mission. This time, he’s decided, he won’t do it. In fact, instead, he’s determined to make Mike Trojan into the first immortal.
Cadet 523: But Mike Trojan IS the first immortal on record.
Gen. Remington: And there you’ve stumbled onto our little problem. According to our instruments, that fact wasn’t true last week. Last week, in fact, Mike Trojan was ONLY the inventor of Time-Travel. He was recorded to have disappeared after living 523 years, cadet 523. Most track his death to be not long after that. So, already, Logan-6’s renegade mission has born fruit for him, massive fruit.
BeatoffKing (speaking from the mouth of Cadet 523): You little idiot children will get nowhere without me!
Gen Remington: Apprehend 523! What have you done with 523, Beatoffikin?
Beatoffiking (struggling with the Child Imperial Guard): I suppose the the holoporn I secretly sent him made him weak enough (if you know what I mean) to be taken over.
Gen Remington: If you think this parlor trick will get you an audience with the Child Emperor you are sorely mistaken.
Beatoffking: Oh come off it Remington, the Child Emperor needs me. I’m the only bot that can travel like a Logan mod.
Gen. Remington: But it’s much harder for you. Given your uh proclivities. You can only jump into those like yourself. Not very useful.
Beatoffking: Are you nuts? MOST people are like me! Look I’m done with you! You don’t get it. Get that little Child Fucking Emperor here now! Look, just tell him I know the Grand Picture! Just tell him that. He’ll know what I mean!
Gen Remington: Take him to the dungeon with the other Logan mods.
Beatoffking: Hey, I’m a human, kid! I’m no robot. You know that.
Gen Remington: Do we? [to guards] Take him away.
Beatoffiking [getting carted off]: The Grand Picture!!
NEXT: Chapter VIII: The Grand Picture
Latest posts by LoganFromTheFuture (see all)
- World Championship Boxing: 2019 Ring Magazine Awards - February 4, 2020
- Logan’s TV Reviews: Black Mirror, Season 5, Episode 1: “Striking Vipers” - February 4, 2020
- Logan Transplacement Chronicles Chapter VII: AKA Logan-6 - January 10, 2020