…continued from: Logan Transplacement Chronicles, Chapter III – The Legend of Mike Trojan Pt. 1
“I invite especially the men in here to contemplate this fact as you look around the hall. There are beautiful, intelligent women in this audience who would be open to be seduced by a total stranger in a matter of minutes in a back alley. Some of these are married women and their husbands are sitting right next to them as I speak. In the not-to-distant past that sort of desire, if expressed or, god forbid, acted upon would condemn a woman to the a beating and likely death. Today, it is merely her choice.
Thinks about it. Some of the most beautiful women in this hall have been seduced in seconds by a bold man who was a natural masters of the art I teach. All of these women were simultaneously being courted them in the old time traditional way. Those men had their hearts broken. In the last 50 years or so, the best seducers have been slyly bedding the majority of the women in this world, while the clueless mass of normal-minded men have been gnashing their teeth in pain and agony over their loneliness. Most regular guys are just not wired to cope with today’s independent woman. He’s wired for an earlier age’s version of a woman – a woman who would take his boring ass, slow courtship, and eventually obey his every command like the dutiful wife-slaves of old used to do. This is why so many American women have unintentionally crushed the lives of numerous well-intentioned men who just could not figure out what went wrong and why she left him; why she got bored. Many of these men did everything “right” as far as old time tradition goes. They made good livings, they were funny, cool, caring, and considerate. Some of them were even famous and/or wealthy. Nevertheless, then one day, their heart was crushed by a wonderful, nice, and caring woman.”
Mike paused for effect. “I single out that category because I’ve found in my research that the most crushing thing for a man is to lose the love of a “beautiful and nice woman.”
“Unfortunately, senseless violence has always been a way of dealing with the fact that men for so long generally have not understood women. This is why I do what I do. I’m here to solve the mystery. I want world peace. I want an end to useless violence born of male frustrated desire. I’m tired of seeing men lose out on a good life just because they don’t understand how to deal with a woman in a way that brings them pleasure. In short, I’m tired of seeing angry men who can’t get laid acting out their aggression. From school shootings to bullshit wars, all violence stems from this one problem. It is the problem I am here to solve, ladies and gentlemen.
Mike paused again. This time, he was not in control. He always felt during this part of his intro lecture that he was laying it on a little thick. “Let’s face it, he’d think to himself, you’re teaching guys how to get laid. Why justify it this way. Nobody is buying this, even though it is true. As he was having this thought, he all of a sudden startled to notice that he had ceased reading from his prepared outline. He pushed to continue speaking, but instead of sticking to the prepared script, Mike said the following:
“Every 2000 years or so, a homo sapien comes along who carries within himself a primordial will, a god-like spirit that our distant ancestors let go of long ago. When you read in the Old Testament Bible about Moses and his early descendants who could live for multiple hundreds of years, these great spirits were still far removed from the immortal spirit of their distant ancestors. Because our most distant ancestors, Adam and Eve, if you will, actually spawned a race of physical immortals. And yet, today we live a mere 100 years or so. The story of Adam and Eve’s temptation by the snake in the Garden of Eden has been passed down all these years to remind people what destroys the spirit of immorality that all humans are provided with at birth. Contrary to the popular, organized Christ-cult interpretations, it was not some grand symbol of the original sin of humanity. It was in fact an admonition not to ignore your conscience. That ignoring one’s conscience is death. Our society has been set up for us all to ignore our individual consciences repeatedly throughout the day, thus shortening our life spans. From god-like immortals we have fallen to fiendish mortals, with a life that is nasty, brutish, and short. If your conscience tells you something is wrong and you go against it and do it anyway (the way Adam and Eve famously ignored their consciences), that is the fundamental recipe for your demise.”
Mike gasped. Why had he just said all that? He was visibly shaken as he looked out on all the students now had leaned forward in their chairs to get a better look at Mike. They were clearly a bit perplexed, but their silence still reigned. Mike decided to apply one of his mightiest principles here, namely: “When things get awkward, cut the tension with a joke — doesn’t even have to be that funny.”
“Excuse me, uh, it appears I mixed up some of my notes. He chuckled!” The crowd laughed. It worked. Mike nervously smiled and went on with his usual lecture. There was no time to figure out what happened. Was he slipping? Mike took a deep breath. “That’s actually a paragraph from a science fiction story I’ve been working on,” he lied. “Anyway, sorry about that.” He cleared his throat and continued:
“I’m here to talk about a few basic rules that will help the men who are listening get laid faster. That’s it, that’s what I do.” The hall shook with laughter.
“Now, before you start pelting me with tomatoes, you need to understand that my techniques essentially train men to understand what women really want and how give it to them. I teach men to make an even trade with women, not to take from them. So realize that I am not just some seduction guru out there to show men how to hypnotize women into having sex. If you want that, I would direct you to Dr. Ross Jeffries. However, I must warn you that I strongly question his theories especially since they lack the moral dimension that all good techniques have . . .”
The lecture went on without incident. It was a complete success, in the end. The momentary blip did not hurt the presentation at. Still, though, this was the third time something like this had happened to Mike. Some kind of voice taking him over and speaking through him, usually about some odd biblical interpretation.
Outside the lecture hall, Logan approached Mike as he walked to his car in the parking lot.
Logan: Mike, do you recognize me?
Mike: Yes, I think I do.
Logan: So you know now that your long-time joke, your nickname and rapper kayfabe back-story is actually based in truth.
Mike: So what now?
Logan: You were supposed to keep rapping. And you weren’t supposed to give that lecture. People cannot receive the information you are putting out there. It makes sex too easy for everyone. Increased sex events – while helping to establish world peace — eventually lead to the discovery of time-travel. Mass time-travel creates chaos in the future. I was sent back here to neutralize you. You should be dead right now.
Mike: Just as I predicted in my fictional, creative writing? Let me guess, I have to start rapping again and quit explaining game to people, right?
Logan: Not quite. I’m sure you see the paradox of all this given that you jokingly predicted it all in the first place.
Before Mike can respond, he is shot and killed. Logan looks behind him to see where the bullet came from and sees another “Logan” running away. He’s bearded and looks like a vagrant. Logan finally catches up to him, and grabs him by the collar and shoves him into an alley.
Logan: What the fuck did you kill him for?
Bearded Bum Logan: That was the mission. Kill Mike Trojan in 2024.
Logan: Who sent you?
Bearded Bum Logan: Same fuckers who sent you, I guess.
Logan: You weren’t in the dungeon with the other versions of me?
Bearded Bum Logan: What? Oh right, that place? I’ve been out of there for a long time. The Emperor keeps telling me before each mission he assigns me that he’s going to let me go free right after, that it’s my last mission Problem is that I’m too good at this stuff. You see, I’ve got no remorse at all. The way I look at it, it’s just business. I’ll take out anyone he tells me to without hesitation.
Logan shot him. A part of him died when he did, as he was shooting another version of himself. But he knew that he had to do it.
This Bum Bearded Logan was Logan-666. This version of Logan is to be killed wherever he rears his head in the timescape. That is the law anyway. This version Logan is a remorseless, unhesitating killer who is also deluded into believing that he is acting on missions from the Emperor. Or at least that is the story from official channels. Some conspiracists believe the Child Emperor is still covertly employing this version of Logan for special opps. That would certainly explain the proliferation of Logan-666 versions. Logan had already killed more than a dozen of them. Still, others simply believe that Logan-666 is just the devil pretending to be a Logan.
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