This is the key with ALL women and with anyone really. When you spend time with a woman (or anyone else) let her do most of the talking. It should be about 80% (her) vs. 20% (you) and NEVER more than 60% vs. 40%. Learn to live and get comfortable in uncomfortable silences. It will be your best ally with women and in life. Those of you who are great salesmen know what I am talking about here. The human being (especially the eager, attracted man) has developed a desperate urge to fill uncomfortable silences whenever they occur in any way he or she can. The result is that most of what we say and hear to fill uncomfortable silence is useless, senseless chatter.
Most men who find themselves in the presence of the woman they desire are quite desperate to take that opportunity to grab that woman’s attention in ANY WAY he can and at every moment, usually by trying and usually failing to be funny at every turn. And most men usually do this by acting way too zany, stupid and hyped up — Jim Cary on crack comes to mind. I know you’ve been there before my bother. You are in the presence of an attractive woman so you are just there in anguish as you rack your brain to come up with something funny to say or do and your mind is not coming up with anything. Whatever you end up doing is then mostly just goofy-funny if even that and more often just annoying.
The reason for this is that the brain can’t be cool-funny in the mind state of “trying to impress” or “trying to be funny”. In that mind state, your brain can only come up with goofy, stupid, and only sometimes funny stuff. Whatever is funny then just gets lost in a general impression that you are goofy. With each piece of goofiness or boring talk you exhibit in your attempt to break the uncomfortable silence in her presence, you place yourself down another rung below her and further out of your reach. In other words, talking too much and trying to impress is often the best way to get a women LESS attracted to you. The good news is that it’s really never too late to turn this all around. And there isn’t even a need to dwell on the regret that you now have for not learning about this wisdom sooner. In fact, keep reading and I will show how can actually convert your past, over-talkativeness and goofy behavior into an ASSET.
Next time that you are hanging with a woman you are attracted to, take deep breaths (always return to this), tell yourself “chill bro, let her talk more than you.” Keep quiet when silences come.
Let the uncomfortable silence sit there. It’s not your job to entertain her or anyone else. Stop trying to be the life of the party at every moment. This is how you do life calmly. Life is not a sitcom. In LIFE, when you are TRYING to be funny you RARELY succeed. In fact, most people who try to be funny are usually pretty annoying. Hang back and stay focused, only speak when spoken to. And when you speak, only speak when something you are going to say is REALLY REALLY REALLY funny or REALLY REALLY wise, otherwise don’t even answer a direct question — at least until the question is asked again. Anything you are thinking of saying that you are on the fence about should just go left unsaid. Stop trying to fill the air with senseless questions or stupid jokes or mindless, boring conversation to get the woman you like talking. Let her feel the uncomfortable silence and feel the natural urge to break it on her own. This urge will force HER to speak to YOU and and it will keep her speaking unprompted. Each time you let the silence linger, she will be motivated to break it. Let her.
Women usually know full well when a guy is attracted to them. Through millions of years of evolution, women have become much better than men at instinctually reading the subtle cues that an attracted man unwittingly gives off. As much as men think they can, they can rarely disguise their attraction to a woman. Something the man does in her presence will usually give it away to her. The best thing that the attracted man can do then is to create time-pockets of doubt in her mind about whether or not he is attracted to her.
The primary of the cues that women pick up on is the man talking more than she does. Nothing communicates more to a woman that a man is interested than the fact that he speaks to her (or texts or calls, etc.) often. So the main way to make a woman doubt your interest is to talk less than she does. And, get this, the more goofy and talky you were in the past — ie, the more attracted you acted — the BETTER this silence technique works!! This is because the woman in question has already sensed that you are attracted to her from your past talkativeness and goofy behavior, but now her belief is being challenged by your suddenly non-talkative demeanor. Since you are allowing for uncomfortable silences to develop, she is then pushed to initiate conversation.
Women (especially beautiful women) hate uncomfortable silences as much as men do and these woman will work to fill those silences if the man just shuts up and allows her to. Attractive women are usually NEVER forced to break uncomfortable silences in the presence of men. That’s because there is usually at least one man around who will break it in attempt to get her talking. These guys just don’t get what turns these women on. That’s why it’s generally better to stay away from annoying men like this. On the other hand, these men will make you look even cooler to the woman when they are around making fools of themselves.
All you need to do as a man is to provide the opportunity for uncomfortable silences to develop. Turn off the TV. Avoid going to movies. TV and movies do not allow uncomfortable silences to even develop. That’s why so many just have the TV on at all times. It’s really always better to have nothing on or just low music in the background when you are hanging with a woman. Let the uncomfortable silence come and watch her work to fill it with a question or a statement. The woman you desire then has to then make YOU laugh or somehow engage your attention to break the silence, and each time she acts goofy trying to do impress you and she doesn’t succeed, you raise up a notch in her head — while your confidence builds. Hang back and watch this. Watch how she starts to work for your attention. It may take two or three hangouts for her to really start trying to elicit your goofy side by being goofy herself. Don’t fall for the bait. Laugh reservedly and keep to the game-plan. The other more common thing a woman will do to break uncomfortable silence will be to try to turn you on (so you act attracted and talkative again). If you have acted attracted in the past by talking too much, the woman will usually go out of her way to turn you on in a very overt way.
Make no mistake, this and nothing else is what builds attraction in that woman you desire. Women LOVE you for letting them work to end uncomfortable silences. Meanwhile, you can just effortlessly sit back and relax and watch how your silence draws her hin. In a nutshell, observe the following two principles and you will be getting more sex than you can handle, effortlessly. Your life will also unfold effortlessly.
NEVER SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO. ALWAYS SPEAK LESS THAN SHE DOES.
DIET UPDATE: ELIMINATE ALL STIMULANTS FROM YOUR DIET: THEY MAKE YOU WAY TOO TALKATIVE AND ANNOYING.
SCIENCE NOW PROVES THEY SHRINK YOUR DICK AND YOUR BRAIN AND REDUCE INTELLIGENCE. THEY ALSO MAKE YOU EAT MORE AND THUS MAKE YOU FAT.
ALCOHOL (more than a few times a week) – drunks are usually annoying and talk too much
WEED (more than a few times a week) – stoners are usually annoying and talk too much