1. Always talk less than she does. Especially on the first date or first encounter, but this basically holds for throughout the relationship.
2. Breathe deeply — all the time, but really make sure you are breathing deeply on the first date or first encounter. This compliments #1 nicely. You won’t be witty and fun when you do talk unless you have plenty of oxygen going into your brain. Check on your breathing throughout the day whenever you stop and think about something complex (because that’s when most people stop breathing). Learn about the right way to breathe and how to do it (expanding your stomach not your chest on the inhale). There are many books on this subject. I use a machine Logan from the Future gave me. It shows you what a real deep breath looks like on a screen.
3. Never TRY to be funny when you’re out with a woman. You will come off like an attention-starved clown who’s trying too hard. Just be your normal, serious, relaxed self. Let your humor just come out naturally when something genuinely amuses YOU in the moment — DO NOT FORCE IT. This is the side your closest friends see; it’s why they truly like you. And she will like that person much better than the forced clown most dudes become when trying to be funny for a chick.
4. If You See Somethang, Say Something, ie, the 3-Second Rule: From the time you see a new hottie, you really have only 3 seconds to say something to her. Each second longer merely places another layer of awkwardness that you have to cut through later when you approach. You think it’s awkward after just 3 seconds? Try the approach after 20 minutes of checking her out, holding your breath, and trying to make and then avoid eye contact. You’ll be shaking like a leaf when you finally go up to her — and you probably just won’t — because if you do, you’ll be like some #1 fan meeting his Rockstar Idol for the first time. Remember, women can feel you checking them out and thus usually know your true intentions when you finally muster the balls to speak to her. This sends up all kinds of unconscious shields that you have to cut through. 3-seconds in, she has no read on you. That is to say, her shields are down. Sadly, this is a tactic of many successful serial killers.
5. If you sense she’s attracted, even in the first meeting, try to spend some time with her right then. Have a coffee or a drink. Try to get at least a kiss from her on that same occasion. Your goal is only kissing her, nothing else. This is ultra important. Most dudes are focused on the final sex act. They want to “score.” You don’t need to care about that because you know that’ll be a certainty if you can get her to kiss you.
6. Understand that her response to #5 will (9 times out of 10) be to rebuff you, sometimes even after kissing you. Your visible response to being rejected at this juncture is probably THE most important moment in a budding relationship. It communicates everything you need her to know about you, namely, that you are attracted to her and you have the balls to go after what you want. Your relaxed and happy coolness at her rejection demonstrates that you’re not some psycho or woman-hater. When/if she rejects you, just smile at her and wink, giver her your card, and leave her alone for a few days. Let her stew on your coolness, balls, and poise as she regularly gets hit on by dudes who have no clue whatsoever. She’ll be calling you soon. In the meantime, keep talking to women who attract you. You can use this tactic if you ever get dumped too. It works a hell of a lot better than stalking her or crying about it to her.
Mike Trojan on Twitter: @MikeTrojan